A traumatic experience can have a significant impact not just on the person who has experienced it, but also on the wider family. As such, it’s important that families in this situation talk to one another. Let’s consider why this is beneficial, and explore a few winning strategies for those looking to make a change. Understanding Trauma and Its Impact on Family Dynamics To begin with, it’s worth thinking about exactly what trauma is, and what effect it can have on relationships between family members. A trauma is a very distressing personal experience, whose psychological impact is often long-lasting. Most people will experience a traumatic event at some point in their lives. But different people can react in different ways. What’s more, some events are so traumatic that emotional symptoms are inevitable. If a person who has been through a traumatic experience is able to identify exactly what their symptoms are, and articulate those symptoms to trusted, close loved ones, then they might have an easier time dealing with those symptoms. Creating a Safe Space for Open Dialogue Of course, being able to speak up about how you’re feeling isn’t always straightforward. Sometimes, the conditions have to be right, and you need to feel that you’re going to be listened to and taken seriously. Creating an open space for dialogue that’s free from judgment and dismissal is crucial. But to do this successfully might mean getting every member of the family on the same page. It might be that some members of the group aren’t yet ready to talk about what they’re feeling. Try not to force things – as that can often cause more harm than good. The objective here is to create a supportive environment, develop trust, and ease uncertainty. Active Listening: The Cornerstone of Effective Communication We’ve mentioned the importance of listening without judgement. This is a pillar of what’s called ‘active’ listening. As opposed to merely passive listening, active listening involves a conscious effort to engage totally in what a person is saying, and to try to understand what it is that they mean. Some people are better at this than others – but it’s a skill that’s hugely valuable when dealing with trauma, and it’s one that can be actively developed through practice. Seeking Professional Support When Needed Dealing with trauma can sometimes require the involvement of a professional counsellor with the skills to guide the discussions. If you feel that you’re struggling to cope as a group, it’s important to seek help when you need it. On the other hand, professional support might take the form of a good lawyer. Abuse claims can provide you with the sense of justice and progress you need to overcome the trauma and move on with life. Setting Healthy Boundaries to Protect Emotional Well-being Sometimes, processing an emotion takes time. If you try to confront it constantly, and steer every conversation toward the trauma, you’ll prevent the wounds from healing. For this reason, it’s a good idea to establish boundaries, and allow everyone time to process what’s been said, and how they feel about it. The quality of your sleep is crucial. During sleep, you’ll process what your mind might have been turning over the previous evening. Problems that seemed all-consuming and crushing might be noticeably smaller after a good night’s sleep.
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